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OMG vulvas and parenting fails

Oh, I have a story for you.

It started with my pulmonary clinical for grad school. I just finished my lung rotation, and I was making them a Thank You basket. I found some cute little stuffed lungs (because who doesn't need some plush lungs in their life?!?) and some smiley-faced organ stickers on Amazon, and was going to throw some treats in and call it a win.

Amazon accidentally sends me a package of REPRODUCTIVE organ stickers in with my regular-organ stickers. Picture an adorable smiling uterus. They are bright and colorful and my daughter instantly wants them. I blame Jeff Bezos for this.

This is where I go wrong - I let her have the stickers.

I go put Kid 2 to bed. Kid 1 had MAYBE forty-five minutes to herself. I come into her room to get her ready for bed...

She has taken said reproductive stickers and stuck them all over a folder. Unbeknownst to me, they are LABELED. She has taken my phone, and GOOGLED these terms. Mother of God I thank my lucky starts she didn't find porn.

She then took it upon herself to create fact sheets regarding these terms. She has a VULVA fact sheet. She has a TESTICLE fact sheet, guys. With BULLET POINTS.

I am dying. Did you know that the testicles are five degrees cooler than the rest of the body? Or that the vulva is a muscle? My 8-year old now knows that THONGS ARE NOT GOOD FOR THE VULVA.

She has drawn PICTURES.

I am crying laughing. Dad comes up to see what the ruckus is about. His look of utter horror is epic. I am holding my own vulva to prevent from peeing myself. She wants to bring it to school to show her friends. I had to tell her hard pass on bringing your reproductive folder of doom to school; I will get phone calls from your friends parents.

She is ready to teach health class you guys. All because Bezos sent me the wrong stickers.

Parenting FAIL.

I am framing these. I will being them out at her graduation, I swear.


This Nurse Mom- Amanda Peterson_edited.jpg

Hi, thanks for stopping by!

Amanda is a married mother of two goofy kids. She has been a nurse since 2006 and worked in ICU since 2008. Because life was not insane enough, she decided to go back to grad school to be an Acute Care NP. They told her this was a stressful program. They did not anticipate her husband getting cancer in year one and a global pandemic in year two and three. She volunteered as a COVID ICU in March of 2020, and for the next year relied on God, caffeine, and swear words. And she wrote.

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